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I have Aspergers. Curiously, or not, I was only recently diagnosed at the relatively mature age of 36, only after my children were diagnosed. In fact, it’s been somewhat of a family journey, with first my son being identified for assessment, followed by me recognising the characteristics of Aspergers in his much younger sister, and finally, rather belatedly examining my own history.

It’s not an uncommon scenario, as gen-Xers tended to go undiagnosed in childhood, but with the increasing awareness of autism spectrum, their children, going through the school system, are often recognised first. Add to this the fact that adult women on the mild end of the spectrum are the hardest of all groups to uncover.

Social Impairment in Aspergers

As with most aspies – as people with Aspergers like to call themselves – growing up, I felt personally deficient; aware of my inability to merge socially with my peers, I suffered severe anxiety, but managed to put together a social mask, which, by remaining out of the spotlight and by careful observation of those around me, made me appear "normal." Well into my 30s I was acutely aware of being unable to connect with others as I saw them connecting with each other.

Social Skills, Self-Acceptance and the Importance of the Online Community

Coming to terms with my "deficiencies" took maturity, time to observe and learn social skills, as well as dealing with the crippling anxiety – but most healing of all was discovering that I wasn’t alone, but that I am part of a worldwide community of people who have similar experiences, quirks, and in fact, neurology.

The beginning of my personal road to inner harmony was the affirmation of the online community, a haven perfect for face-to-face-shy aspies. Their stories of common experiences were a portal to self-acceptance.

Role Models for Aspies